Over the weekend, one of my friends on Facebook (a for reals friend because I don’t have a public Facebook page) shared a link to something a guy I don’t know, whose name is Kyle Cease (his profile says he’s a comedian) had posted. I don’t know if he wrote it personally because at the end of it, he mentions a man named Wayne Dyer who is an American psychologist. Anyway, I read it a few times over the weekend because I really like it and it so clearly says what I have worked to achieve in my own life. I didn’t figure this out until I was in my 20’s and when I did, that’s when I met Wil. I met my perfect match in a spouse and have carried this on in friendships as well. So thank you to Kyle Cease for the post (and possible author of it) Wayne Dyer because he may or may not have actually written it as well, and my friend, Laura, who is one amazing girl.
“If you put out scared energy, you will attract control freaks.
If you choose to be a people pleaser, you will attract takers.
If you put out energy that says ‘Look how rich I am’ you will attract people who will like you for your money.
If you put out a bunch of naked selfies, you will attract sex driven people.
If you are connected to yourself for real, you will only be able to be with people who are connected to themselves.
If you have someone in your life who is not the vibrational match to what you are being, it won’t last long.
Whatever vibe we decide to put out is awesome. Whatever you want to have in your life is fine. As long as you know that what you put out is what you get back, do whatever you want.
Know that you will attract the match that you are, so be ok with what you present, or evolve to what you really want to be.
When you evolve to what you truly want to be, you will only find people who are where they want to be.
You don’t attract what you want, you attract what you ARE.”
Apparently you are puns.
It does sound kind of positive but in my opinion it’s the “it’s all up to you what happens to you” stuff again. And that’s just not true. So much in life is outside your control no matter what kind of vibes you send out. To me it always sounds like a sophisticated fortune cookie.
That’s true. Lots of what happens to us is completely out of our control. However, how we respond to what happens to us IS influenced by what’s going on inside us. So while we really don’t have control in any real sense, we do have choices that influence our overall experience of life to some degree. I think Anne’s basic premise here is correct as long as it’s taken with a little salt.
All these things are so true! I went through a huge life change in my late 20’s / early 30’s where i’d gotten married to someone who was totally not for me. I’m sure i loved her for a time, but in the end, there were so many incompatibilities in place that we never could connect over a long term. The big change came when we decided to separate and I was forced to live alone for the first time … ever.
Up until that point, i was either living with Room-mates, or back home for a spell before i could find other roommates to crash with. This time, i was financially stable enough to live where i was. The time alone (nearly 3 years) was eye-opening, embarrassingly revealing, but enlightening. I found out that i never learned to live by myself; that I was lost when i was alone. I didn’t know what to do with myself – i’d depended so much on someone else to make those choices for me.
But, when i finally was able to live with myself and ENJOY IT, I started to realize that what i wanted in a companion, spouse, significant other (whatever you wanna call it) was not as important as what i DIDN’T WANT in a companion.
Sure I wanted someone with curly hair.. or blue eyes. But we all have our fantasies about what ‘beautiful’ is.. .but ultimately, beautiful is so subjective. If our Companion doesn’t look like Kate Upton – is that a deal breaker???! No – of course not.
But i don’t smoke.. and I don’t like being with someone who does. If a prospective companion comes along and lights one up – is that a deal breaker for me? Yes it is. And that’s very important.
Companion Is very OCD about having dishes in the right place and is INCREDIBLY ANAL about putting towels in the right order. Deal breaker?? For me no – even tho’ I’m a slob.
I’m a musician and have women who do flirt with me -and companion gets overly-jealous despite my saying -t his is the way it is.. but i do not egg them on.. it’s harmless.. for me.. deal breaker.. and I was very up front when saying — as a front man in a band we flirt with ladies to keep them coming back.. .. it’s not for everyone, and I respect that – if she doesn’t like that.. we are not compatible..
Again this would have to fall under what SHE doesn’t want in a guy! it goes both ways, but ultimately, what we do not want in a companion is more important than what we want when choosing a partner!
I would add to this that circumstances and luck play a role. Not that this isn’t obvious, but it isn’t reasonable to expect that following these rules will lead to Mr/Ms Right magically appearing in front of you.
You have to consider this stuff (the internal or self part of finding your soul mate) with the external factor of whether you are regularly meeting new people in a circumstance where romance can develop. The more often you meet people, the less luck/patience that you likely need and vice versa.
If I can vent a little, one frustrating aspect of life is that opportunity and experience are inverses. When you are young, you have no idea what you are doing and meet tons of people. Frankly, you’d try dating just about anybody just for the experience. So, all of that variety is kind of wasted. As you get older and more experienced, you eventually know what you are looking for and merely need to meet enough people to find that person. Unfortunately, meeting lots of people is now very difficult so you can’t be sure that you will find the person that you seek. Very annoying.
I sometimes wonder about random things that might make life run smoother. What if college wasn’t until your late 20s or 30s? Perhaps after high school, people should spend a half decade working and dating and traveling to find themselves. After that, they could go to school and be surrounded by like minded folks who were more mature. I think there would be a lot of benefits. Perhaps young marriage would be less likely if you knew college was coming up and you would get to meet lots of new people. Picking the wrong career might be less likely if you were older and had more experience when you decided what courses to take and what area to study. You get the idea.
A silly pipe dream.
Well, my friends are pretty awesome, so… *grin*
Thank you for posting this. It is exactly what I needed to hear. 🙂