Monthly Archives: January 2015

Talk About All The Things!

Turns out this week is a busy week of ALL THE THINGS for one Anne Wheaton. I was going to mention them via Twitter as they come up, but it also turns out that this week of ALL THE THINGS also involves me being in 3 different cities within a 4 days span, with a quick stop at home before heading off to a cruise, so it’s best I just post ALL THE THINGS here now.

Thing the first: I’ve known about this for about 4 months, and it has been KILLING me that I haven’t been able to talk about it. But I can spill the beans now because well, they already spilled said beans and so now I can do what I want with those beans.

Wait. Let me try that again.

Calgary Expo is happening this April. I had already planned to spend some quality time in the booth with Espionage Cosmetics, along with my super awesome friend, Bonnie Burton, to promote the VandalEyes nail wraps that Bonnie and I designed with Espionage, which I’m really looking forward to. But then something else happened…

An organizer for Calgary Expo contacted me because she knows how much I freakin’ LOVE Sharknado. For the first time, they will be having a Sharknado panel with Ian Ziering and Tara Reid, and they ASKED ME TO MODERATE IT.

I know you can’t see me, but I have the stupidest face of excitement on right now, and I’m jumping up and down. Trust me. It’s a little ridiculous. I know it’s not until April, but my excitement has already started and I will continue to be excited about this LONG after the panel has ended. I absolutely love everything about this crazy movie (the first and the second one, and now a THIRD is on the way OH BOY!) so I am beyond thrilled to do this. And I absolutely love everyone at Espionage Cosmetics and I love spending time with Bonnie, so this convention is already going to be 100% awesome. Well, 99% awesome because Wil can’t be there, but I will manage. *winky face*

Thing the second: I did a podcast with Wil last night. If you haven’t figured out by now, either on my blog or on Twitter, there is no mystery to me. I share stories that are bizarre, embarrassing, disgusting, and horrifying all the time. And now, you can hear them in podcast form! That’s either awesome or I’m sorry, take your pick. But you can listen to it here, so there’s that. We also talk about our charity foundation and the two eBay auctions we are doing this week of signed TableTop games we’re releasing in support of our foundation.

On to thing the third: I did a new episode of TableTop with Wil, Clare Kramer, and Bonnie Burton, which airs on the YousTubes this Thursday, January 22nd, on the Geek & Sundry channel. I’m not going to tell you what happened or who won, but I will tell you that I did a LOT of singing. We played a game called Geek Out, which our friend, Elisa Teague designed. A week from Thursday, January 29th, the gag reel for this episode will air. I haven’t seen the full episode or the gag reel, so I have no idea what to expect there, but I’m sure it’ll be good.

If you’ve read the post I put here or seen the PUPDATE posts I do on Twitter, you know about Lucy, the tiny, malnourished puppy I took in and fostered for 4 days before taking her up to Sacramento to live with my friend. My friend sends me photos of Lucy’s progress, both in being accepted by the other pets in her new home, as well as how much she has grown and filled out now that she’s getting regular feedings. She was so thin and bony when I took her in, and already seemed to be putting on weight in the 4 days with me. I took her to my vet for a check-up, scan for a microchip (none) and vaccines the day I got her. Other than the obvious signs of needing food, this little 5 pound puppy, who the vet estimated at 3 months old, was healthy and would be just fine. My friend has had her for 6 weeks now, and Lucy is up to 19 pounds. Now that Lucy is healthy and growing at a normal rate, the vet thinks her age was over-estimated when originally found. She thinks she was actually just barely 6 weeks old when I got her. It breaks my heart to know that tiny, young little pup was wandering alone. But knowing she was that young, it makes sense that she became so attached to me so quickly. I wrote about her here if you want to read that story. In any case, after attending w00tstock in San Francisco this Thursday, I’m going over to Sacramento on Friday to spend the weekend with Lucy…er…to see my friend and visit with her….not just for the dog. *GIANT WINKY FACE* I’m sure I will take a million pictures of Lucy and post them on Twitter, so keep an eye out for PUPDATES if you want to see how much she has grown.

Thing the fourth: Wil and I are going on a super awesome nerd cruise January 31- February 8, so we will not be doing the TableTop game auction that week. We will be doing two games the following week instead (which is what we are doing right now because we were in Canada for a week and missed one) so keep an eye out for that if you’re interested.

Fifth and final thing, I swear: On February 11th, Wil and I are participating in an event that our Space Mom/Space-Mom-In-Law is doing called “Krusher Does Krusher.” If you’re in town and would like to see it,  I think you will enjoy it.

That’s all from me! Have a great week!!


Your Secret Is Safe With Me

We have this sweetly odd cat named Luna. She and Watson, our other cat, were adopted by our son, Ryan, while he was in college. He was home for one summer (cats came with him) and when he was about to head back for the Fall semester, found out his roommates had rented a place where animals weren’t allowed. We offered to have the cats live with us until he finished school and found a permanent place to live, and of course, now they’re just our cats that Ryan comes over to visit.

Watson is a super mellow love machine. I have never had a cat as affectionate as he is. He puts up with the dogs getting in his face, lets anyone hold him in any position (he used to hate being held on his back but I worked that out of him and now he loves it). Luna, on the other hand, is a strange one. Ryan adopted her from a shelter when she was just 8 weeks old. She was found wandering the streets in Tucson, and has always been a bit “off.” She is affectionate on HER terms.

Since Luna was raised by a boy, she LOVES boys. If they have facial hair, even better. She will jump on the counter and stand her front feet on the chest of anyone visiting our house who has facial hair. She will rub her face on each side of the facial hair owners face, with the hopes of getting back scratches on her torso while she’s outstretched on the chest of the unknown bearded man. If I’m at the counter? She doesn’t give me the time of day. But if other girls are visiting our house, she does this odd display of flipping over and rolling her face into the hand of the female visitor (Luna LOVES Nika Harper and Ashley Clements) for affection, but then acts pissy like she doesn’t want to be touched, so the visitor will stop petting her. But then as soon as they stop, she whines like she doesn’t know why they stopped, and the cycle continues. She’s nuts.

Luna also acts like the dogs are on her last nerve, but I have watched her rub up against them or even dart under their feet in an attempt to get the dogs to play with her. She acts particularly annoyed with Marlowe, who is only 2 years old, who gets super excited at the idea of kitty wanting to play with her. Luna will antagonize Marlowe, and then hop up on a table and bitch at Marlowe to leave her alone, while Marlowe just stands there looking confused.

Over the past few months, Luna has been doing what I like to call “secret affection” with me, where she gets up on my bed in the middle of the night (you know, when no one is looking) and tucks into me as tight as she can under my chin, and then puts her face on my mouth to kiss on her and rub her chin. Of course, I oblige because she’s not always like this, and I generally lose about 2 hours of sleep loving on her, but it’s too cute to ignore. I don’t know if she’s mellowing out in her old age (she’s 8 now) or what, but I love affectionate animals, so I cave to her every time she does this.

But last night something new happened with Luna. I didn’t get a picture because I knew if I moved she would get up, so I’ll just have to describe it. Marlowe likes to sleep tucked into a ball in between my pillow and Wil’s pillow. Seamus sleeps stretched out between our torsos, usually pressed up into me (I hope you’re visualizing the crowd that is my bed every night). Marlowe had shifted so she was a little more stretched out, with her head laying up against Wil’s shoulder, her back toward the foot of the bed. There was maybe 8 inches of space between Marlowe’s back and Seamus’s head and shoulder below. In that space in between, I saw darkness. Not any normal darkness, so I sat up and looked. It was Luna, who had clearly wedged herself in between the dogs, her outstretched body pressed snuggly up against Marlowe’s back, with her tiny paw draped over Marlowe’s neck, and her face tucked into the back of Marlowe’s head.


It was the cutest, most unbelievable sight coming from Luna, ever. Sure, I’ve seen Watson tuck into Seamus many times over the years. The two of them have been sleeping buddies since the third day they met, but Luna?! That was too cute and probably something I will never be able to get a picture of. So you’ll just have to take my word for it that the cat who wants everyone to think she’s a super badass is secretly becoming the adorable ball of affection I’d always hoped she’d be. Just don’t tell anyone, or she’ll chomp on your hand before demanding more chin scritches and crunchy cat treats, and then meow at you in disgust before whining at you to come back.

Someday I'll nab a picture of Luna snuggling the dog, but for now, here's a picture of Watson snuggling Seamus less than a week after meeting each other.
Someday I’ll nab a picture of Luna snuggling the dog, but for now, here’s a picture of Watson snuggling Seamus less than a week after meeting each other.


From The Book of Awkward Moments: A Travel Entry

Last week, Wil and I took our kids on a family vacation to Lake Louise, which is north of Calgary in Alberta. Wil had been there a couple of times as a teenager, but this would be the first time for the rest of us. I have traveled quite a bit, several times out of the country. But I learned a few things while being a visitor in Canada that I am STILL laughing at, because laughing at myself long after an event has happened is my secret power. Think of this as unsolicited travel tips so that one day when you visit this place, you can avoid these horrors.

When arriving in Canada and going through customs, it’s important to speak clearly to the customs agent about how you plan to get from the Calgary airport up to Lake Louise. When I said “rental car,” the agent got wide-eyed and practically yelled “WHAT DID YOU SAY?” so I repeated myself by saying “rental car” again because apparently I mumbled the first time and the agent, as well as my entire family, thought I said “rectal cock.”

Canadians speak French and English. Highway signs will post in both languages, but other places show only an English version or only a French version. Learn how to pronounce these French words, even if you don’t speak French. Calling the hotel to make dining reservations will be a lot less awkward when you know how to pronounce “Brasserie,” which is a French restaurant, instead of saying ‘Brassiere” which is an undergarment for women.

It’s great that you’re prepared and have actually brought Canadian money with you. For the most part, it’s called “dollars” just like in America. So when the bellman brings your bags to your room, there’s no need to announce “I have Canadollars!” before tipping him. Also, when you grab a snack and a cocktail in the restaurant lounge later that day and the waitress asks if you’d like to charge the bill to your room, you don’t need to respond with “I brought Canadough, so I’ll pay with that.” It’s just dollars.

When deciding to go skiing with the family at the nearby ski resort, it’s best to remember before getting on the chairlift that you haven’t gone skiing in 8 years, and may need a refresher on a run that isn’t very steep. That way, you don’t go up to the top of the mountain with your children to a run that feels WAY out of your comfort zone, and then spend the next 45 minutes going down the hill in an awkward, squatting snowplow hunched over stance of total embarrassment in an attempt to make it to the bottom alive and with all of your limbs intact. And when that ski instructor bringing a group of 6 down the hill stops and looks at you oddly, don’t smile and wave as you continue to “ski.”  You’re only making it worse. (Fortunately, I only did one run like that, and it all came back to me. The rest of the day, and the other two days of skiing were much smoother than that first run.)

So now that I’ve given you some travel tips, I highly recommend a visit to Lake Louise. It’s an incredibly beautiful place in winter, and from pictures I saw in the hotel, it’s a different kind of beautiful in summer. The lake is frozen solid in winter, so we went ice skating on it, and walked out and stood in the center of it. The view from our hotel room never got old, and I miss it already.

Sunset view of Lake Louise from our hotel room.
Sunset view of Lake Louise from our hotel room.