Time To Spread Some Holiday Cheer!

There’s a thing you may or may not know about me. I love to see patterns in numbers (#numbernerd on Twitter came from me) and when I see letters on objects, I MUST make them spell something out. Which brings me to this: There are several retail stores that put out monogrammed stockings, ornaments, or even just individual letters found in craft stores that are just sitting there, BEGGING to be made into a word.

Around this time last year, I spelled out a few silly (and somewhat inappropriate) words with the decorations I had found in Target. I posted it on Twitter and as a joke I added “Your mission, should you choose to accept it, is to create your own fun with words and send them to me.” Oh, man. I was FLOODED with some of the funniest things I’ve seen on monogrammed Christmas decorations in a long time.

No matter what festivus holiday you choose to celebrate, whether by religious tradition or just your own family tradition, this time of year always seems to sneak up on us and make us STRESS THE FUCK OUT. So instead of just racing through stores in a panic, why not take a few minutes for yourself and say something funny with letters!

I started a Tumblr for this because I didn’t want to bombard Twitter with retweeting all of the funny that is bound to head my way over the next several weeks. This way, we have a platform in which to admire other people’s work either at the end of the day, or when you’re looking at your phone while waiting in line while that one woman who knew it was her turn and still wasn’t prepared, writes out a check with a pen that won’t work and can’t hear the cashier tell her the total or the date, no matter how loud he yells it at her face.

Just like last year, I encouraged people who spelled out something that may not be kid-friendly to mix the letters back up when they’re done so uptight moms or a couple of nuns out shopping won’t get pissed that you’re spelling out “Dickwagon” with their favorite glittery ornaments. Be sure to keep things in the areas they are designated for. We don’t want that ONE person who freaked out at me last year and decided I was “creating extra work for retail employees” when the ornaments are still in their same location, not over on aisle 6 next to their UNDERWEAR THAT GOT IN A BUNCH BECAUSE THEY HATE FUN. We wouldn’t want  Alex from Target to do something other than look cute while he bags your goods. (Possibly a euphemism)

So have some fun and be the stealthy holiday ninja you’ve been waiting all year to be. I can’t wait to see what you come up with!

8 thoughts on “Time To Spread Some Holiday Cheer!

  1. I agree with Charlotte. I do have to ask, however; can anyone who needs a wagon for their dick reach the shelves to rearrange the letters?
    I love your numbernerddom. I too am afflicted with that dreaded(not really, I love it) disease. I recently posted a pic on twitter showing my odometer having 105,000 miles on it with 105 miles to empty in the gas tank. I have also sent several #VandalEyes pics cuz “why not?” I even VandalEyesed one of your promotional pics for VandalEyes because silly can always become sillier.

  2. When I worked at Barnes & Noble, someone came in and rearranged Sue Grafton’s (A is for Ailbi, B is for Burglar…) books to make naughty words. It was awesome!

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