Rest Assured, Your Concern Has Been Noted

I’ve noticed an interesting thing that happens every time Wil posts a really happy picture online of the two of us together. There’s always handful of people who want to try to criticize Wil, sometimes by his own appearance (it’s crazy how people seem surprised at another human being not having perfectly straight teeth) but mainly by attempting to “insult” Wil for being with me because I’m older than him. And since it happens so often, I figured now would be a good time to set the record straight, since he posted a picture of the two of us at the hockey game last night on Instagram and these comments appeared again.

First of all, yes, I am older than him. When we first started dating twenty years ago, it actually really bothered me for the first six months of our relationship. I had always assumed older meant more responsible for some odd reason. Boy, was I wrong about that. Wil was one of the most responsible people I’d ever met. After six months into this relationship, I talked with my grandma about me dating someone new but it was weird because I was older than him. My grandma, who outlived three husbands in her 94 years on this earth, (one to a tragic accident, one to cancer, one to old age) very sweetly said “Oh, honey. I was older than ALL of my husbands. We just know a good thing when we see it. If you love him and he loves you and is good to the kids, that’s all that matters.” And that’s when I stopped caring about our age difference and focused more on the man who unconditionally loved me and the two little kids I brought into this relationship.

About 10 years ago, Wil and I went to visit my grandma in the nursing home in Oregon. She had dementia, but she wasn’t an angry, frustrated dementia person. She was more like “Meh, I can’t remember that detail in life.” But there were things she did remember and one of them was that conversation I had with her about Wil when I had started dating him. While Wil and I were talking with her, she paused for a moment, took Wil’s hand into her own, pat the top of it with her other hand, then looked up at him and said “You need to take really good care of yourself because we women in this family live a very long time.” She looked over at me and winked, and let go of Wil’s hand. Wil, laughing, enthusiastically responded “Oh, I know!” My grandma smiled back, relieved in the thought of the very long life Wil and I would continue to share together.

So, for those concerned about Wil being in a relationship with me, an older woman, I have some words to ease your mind so you don’t have to worry yourselves about it anymore. As you can see by the photos you comment on, we are extremely happy together and the age difference doesn’t matter to us. We may both be in our 40s now but rest assured, we enjoy traveling together, we share our life with amazing friends and family, and we continue to love our home and all of our rescue pets. And when you see those smiles on our faces with the natural aging lines and the occasional gray hairs? Don’t worry about that either. Aging happens to everyone. Someday it will happen to you too! And if you’re lucky and find the love of your life, who may or may not be older than you, I hope you experience the strong passion for each other that Wil and I continue to enjoy several times a week.  As the experts say, sex keeps you young! (and happy, and fit, and flexible, obviously). So don’t worry about Wil anymore. He seems to be doing just fine with his older wife and of course,  I am thrilled with my younger husband.


11 thoughts on “Rest Assured, Your Concern Has Been Noted

  1. I love seeing the pictures that you two post of yourselves. The thing that sticks out is how happy you both look in all of them. I’ve always kind of joked to myself, “I hope I can be like that, when I grow up.” (;

  2. Age is just a number assigned to your body, which is commonly not equal to the number assigned your soul. My spouse and I are only six months apart in age, yet we look at the two of you and strive for a similar devotion and connection. <3
    Besides, those trolls just need to learn Wil's 'Rule #1'.

  3. I feel honored that you and Wil share your happiness with us. Seeing you I can tell your in love and it gives me hope that I’ll find someone to love and respect who loves and respects me. That’s the most important thing, not who’said older than whom. I wish you a long and happy life together.

  4. I love this. My boyfriend of 2 years is a few years younger than myself. My family always bring up how young he is for me. And sure, occasionally he is immature. But that’s kind of what I love. He’s fun and exciting and loves me. He balances me out.
    This post was exactly what I needed today. Thank you Anne.

  5. I have nothing but admiration and love for both of you, individually and as the most wonderful couple I have ever known!

  6. You guys aren’t even many years apart in age. My husband and I are 9 years apart and it doesn’t feel like a big difference. As far as I’m concerned, 3 years is the same age once you’re both at least in your twenties. Like you said, people like to find reasons to be awful to Wil. That just makes what they say even less valid. Keep rockin’ on, lady. Keep being awesome and try not to let the loud angry people get to you. The rest of us see how perfect you guys are.

  7. Anne, I love that you and Wil found each other. I love that you trusted that love, no matter your age difference. I love that you are proud of it and not afraid to share it. Thank you for sharing your life, your love, your husband and yourself with all of us…we love you back!

  8. I love your story Anne. There is nothing wrong with an age difference between couples. A successful relationship is about the 2 people, not their age. Started dating my wife in my mid 20’s, she is 10 years older then me. We just now celebrated our 20th year of marriage and still going strong. She introduced me to a lot of things I probably would have never done before had we not been together, and vice versa. So, any naysayers that think your age difference is odd, your pictures should certainly satisfy. You 2 always look so happy together, what more is needed!

  9. I never knew (or paid attention if either of you ever mentioned) that you were older than Wil. You both always look so happy together, and that’s all that matters. I am insanely jealous of the love affair you have with your husband (but not in a negative, wanna insult or cause harm to either of you). Maybe I meant envious? Whatevs. You two are awesome.

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